White Out
by MormonStereotype
Summary: Darien White is a politics-obsessed mormon kid who thought HE had a big family. So what happens when he meets a girl with a bigger one? Cover by me, for better or worse. Please read and review, and give some opinions on the story! (Not a ship story)
1. Darien

**So, I figured I've talked about other people's OCs quite a bit, and that it was time to make my own, with a story to boot. So here goes!**

The faint sound of cars filled the air in the suburbs of Royal Woods. If one were observing from the street, specifically, one nine minutes biking distance from the local school, one could notice a pair of boys, the oldest two in the White family, exiting a somewhat wide single-story house and mounting bicycles. The taller one wore a yellow hoodie adorned with the design of the "Don't tread on me" flag, jeans, and grey sneakers with green soles; the shorter, a grey hoodie, sweatpants, and blue shoes with orange designs. As they departed and started down the street, the taller one tried to shout to the other.

"So, mate, did you see the news?"

"What?!" The yellow-hooded boy rolled his eyes and slowed down a little bit to close the gap between them.

"Did you see the news, mate?"

"No."

"They raised the freakin' minimum wage."

"Are you kidding me?!"

"I freaking wish, mate! It's $8.90 now!"

"Well, crap."

"Right?! It was gonna be hard enough to get a job as it was!"

"Least it's not as bad as Seattle."

"Granted, but still!"

"Gonna be sharing some anti-raise memes?"

"Nah, all I could find for those are freaking bottomtexts."

"Ah, one of the worst kinds."

"Yup. But then again, how the crap would the minimum wage translate to literally any meme remotely dank enough?"

"Yeeeaaah, it's not exactly meme material."

"Nope." The two turned out of the neighborhood and onto the four-lane, and remained relatively silent for the rest of the ride. They arrived at the seminary building, an 1800 sq. ft. single-story brick building with glass doors. The boys parked their bikes behind the building, between it and the parking lot. The yellow-hooded boy hung his helmet on his handlebars, and the grey-hooded boy brought his inside.

"Good morning Darien, good morning Gavin!" The teacher said to the yellow-hooded and grey-hooded boy respectively. They were the only three in the building, and 0 period seminary wouldn't start for another 20 minutes. Darien sat in the back right of what was the middle section of the room from the teacher's perspective, while Gavin sat in the front right of the left section from the teacher's perspective. Darien pulled his phone out of his hoodie pocket and scrolled through his facebook. He didn't have a twitter or snapchat or anything, because he didn't understand the point of them, but it was still a nice way to see what some friends of his friends were up to. It also gave him access to a neat little chatroom that he'd compiled them into for the sake of sharing memes and talking about a video game they were developing.

"Darien, could you unlock the front and side doors?" The teacher asked, handing him the keys to the doors. Darien took the keys and put his phone in his pocket. Gavin set up the pastries on a table in the foyer. What better way to motivate students to wake up early than giving them day-old pastries for free? It worked for Darien and Gavin. Once five minutes remained until class began, the classroom started to fill up. The teacher's right remained mostly barren with three exceptions, while the left was completely filled and the middle three-quarters filled. After the hymn and opening prayer, the teacher began her lesson. Meanwhile, in the back row, Darien quietly conversed with the boy in the seat to his left, a tall ginger named Alexander.

"D'you hear they raised the minimum wage?"

"Did they?"

"Yup."

"I'm not sure how you feel about that."

"Ha!" Darien whispered. "It pisses me off. To NO end. We do this every couple of years, and guess what happens?"

"Yeah, but it's a popular move."

"Yeah, for the small majority."

"True."

"Darien?" Darien perked up at the sound of his name. "Could you read the next verse?"

"Which one?"

"19." Darien had been paying attention to the teacher's lesson and his conversation, so he knew which chapter, he just hadn't been following along on the verses. After he read, he waited a bit before returning to his conversation.

"Yeah, but that is how democracy works." Alexander noted.

"Yeah, well, republics are better."

"What makes you think that?"

"Pure democracy is two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. The 51% abuse the 49, the majority over the individual."

"Hm."

"See, Ireland has it right there. Especially with Instant-runoff voting."

"Yeah."

After class, which was an hour long and ended at around 7 AM, Darien and Gavin mounted their bikes and rode home. Because they did school online, they had the majority of their day free to do what they wanted, though they had to do chores and schoolwork too. Thanfully, today was a relatively easy day for both of them, as well as some of their other 4 siblings. For the oldest two, Gavin and Darien, tonight was a ward youth activity, so they could hang out with their friends, which was nice as they mostly only saw them at church and at these activities. Darien finished his schoolwork and chores before finding Gavin, who was shooting hoops in the street in front of the house.

"Hey, Gavin."

"Yeah?"

"Have you seen any updates to the script?"

"For the game?"

"Yeah."

"No, I think it's just a couple of your scenes still." Each of six people, one of which was Darien, was working on a narrative script for the game. It was in a choose-your-own adventure style, so the scripts were fairly hard to make, and Darien had only written three scenes himself. Outside of writing the narrative, Darien couldn't do much, but that's what friends are for, especially the artists and the ones in band. He still found it hard to believe that they'd made a minimal working prototype in powerpoint of all applications.

"Yeah, we need to get on them about that."

"Well, they don't have your time."

"True, true."

Later that evening, Darien hopped the back fence and crossed the street to get to the church. Little did he know, he was about to meet a girl with an even bigger family than his.

 **Alright, so there's the pilot chapter for you. Not a list bio, but I think it's sufficient to explain at least part of Gavin's character and a bit more of Darien's. Please review with any criticism!**


	2. Mutually Assured Destruction

**Alright, I was gonna use this first bit to feature some reviews, but there are as many reviews on this story as there are hopes and dreams left in me. So we're just gonna get right into it, and no, this isn't a ship story. Fortunately.**

Darien hopped over the ditch separating the church grounds from the 40 MPH two-lane behind his house. The official day set aside for youth activities was supposed to be Tuesday, but no one was able to make it then, so they just stuck with Wednesday. As Darien entered through the east door, which he'd decided to go through despite being farther, he made his way to the northern end of the building.

As he entered the northernmost room, he noticed he was the only one there.

 _Being early plus everyone else being on frickin' Mormon Standard Time means you're all by yourself 'til, like, five minutes after the dang thing's s'posed to start._ Darien thought with a roll of his eyes. He grabbed a metal folding chair- a staple of mormon culture- and took a seat. After a few minutes, the room went from empty to half-full within 90 seconds. _Mormon Miracle in action, ladies and gentlemen._ He saw the usual faces; Lincoln, his frequent debate opponent; Alexander, the tall ginger kid who was really just a bystander to the nigh-weekly chaos of priest's quorum; Lukas, the kid who wasn't really friends nor enemies with anyone but still talked with them; Claire, Maddie, and Kamryn chatting in a corner; and David, the kid who managed to be an even more autistic version of himself. There wasn't anything out of the ordinary today... _Hold up, who the crap is that?_

It was a girl, at least as far as he could tell, with a green dress, sandals, and blonde hair. Darien whispered over to Lincoln.

"Hey, who the crap is that?"

"I have no idea." Lincoln responded. "If she goes to Royal Woods, I wouldn't know."

"Well, yeah." Darien turned to Michael, another member of the priest's quorum. "Do you know who she is?"

"Oh, yeah, that's Leni. She goes to my school." Michael and Lincoln went to rival schools, so it made sense that one knew her and the other didn't.

"Ah, okay. So's she, like, just visiting, or-"

"Yeah, just visiting."

"Okay, yeah. Figured as much."

"Alright, everyone." Brother Fei announced. We're going to start with a hymn."

"Why not a 'her?'" Leni asked. Everyone else couldn't help laughing, with Darien laughing the hardest before whispering over to Lincoln.

"Because 'hims' are more important." He joked, much to Lincoln's chagrin. As the kids started singing the hymn, Leni could be seen dancing.

"What is she, autistic?" He whispered over to Michael.

"No, she's just dumb. REALLY dumb."

"Yeah, I can see that, mate." After the hymn, the kids got into cars to go to a corn maze. Darien got in the passenger seat of Brother Fei's minivan, while all of his older friends got into the back and middle, leaving one seat open.

"Wait for me!" yelled Leni as she walked toward them. "All of the other cars are full!"

"Nope, step on it." Darien joked quietly enough for her not to hear. Leni got in and buckled up. "Mate, you're in a frickin' booster." Leni looked beneath her.

"Hm. I didn't see that there."

"Are you BLIND, mate?" Darien asked as Leni got out and Brother Fei put the booster in the trunk. Their car was the last to leave the church parking lot, and it wasn't long before Leni was feeling a little dizzy.

"Are you okay?" Lincoln asked her.

"Yeah." She weakly responded.

"You don't look fine." Alexander pointed out.

"No, trust me, I'm 80% fine."

"So you're not completely fine?"

"No, I am." Darien laughed after she said this.

"80% isn't 'completely,' mate."

After a while, the car arrived at the corn maze. Leni got out and staggered a bit, but soon collected herself. Everyone was told to form groups of 3. Darien was about to grab Lincoln and Michael, but David grabbed him.

"Well, looks like we're in a group!"

"Crap." David laughed.

"Well, at least we have a full team."

"We have two, mate."

"No, there's her." David pointed at Leni, who was standing behind him.

"Aye ya..." Darien groaned. Leni screamed, startling Darien and causing him to jump. "The crap, mate?!"

"Spider!" Leni yelled as she ran away. Darien turned and saw a plastic spider decoration.

"Are you kidding me, it's not even realistic!"

"Alright, everyone, feel free to enter the maze whenever you want. We'll sound an alarm at 8:00. See if you can find the checkpoints!"

"Alright, let's frickin' go!" Darien's group ran to the maze entrance. "Alright, now which way-"

"Let's go this way!" Leni yelled, running down a random path.

"Wait wait wait wait, hey, come back!" Darien shouted after her. "Frickin' A!"

Darien and David caught up to Leni as she pondered which direction to take at a turn.

"Oh, hi you two! Do you know which way we need to go?"

"No, the thing changes every year! And even if this WERE the same as last year, your 'two options' there just make a loop!"

"What do you mean?" Darien ran down the left path and came out on the right.

"See? it doesn't freaking matter!"

"Whoa, you can teleport?!" Darien made his hands into fists and inhaled deeply through his nose.

"No, mate, this part loops!"

"I don't get it." Darien walked up to her and grabbed her by the wrist.

"Come on. David, stay there." Darien pulled Leni along the path, ending up where they started.

"David, I thought he told you to stay where you were."

"Are you freaking kidding me?" Unfortunately for Darien, this was a fairly good representation of the rest of the night.

 **There you go, second chapter. Remember to read and review!**


	3. Lost Along a Straight Path

**Alright, so I ended up getting a response saying that I should continue this, so I will! Special thanks to MischiefWeasley for that! Here's chapter 3 for y'all!**

"Wrong way, mate."

"How do you know?"

"We just came from there." Darien, David, and Leni had been in the maze for all of 20 minutes and gotten lost 10 times. Frankly, Darien had expected more, so he probably shouldn't have been complaining. But Leni...

"So what's with everyone wearing boots?"

"One, I'm not, and neither is basically anyone, and two, there's freaking mud everywhere, mate."

"Oh." Darien rolled his eyes.

"And, hold on, how old are you?"

"16."

"YOU'RE SIXTEEN?!" A girl HIS AGE being this stupid?! Calvin, his random agnostic friend, was the same age as him, and he was in freaking college!

"Yup! Almost old enough to get a license!"

"It's old enough to get a license BASICALLY ANYWHERE!"

"Is it?"

"YES! YES IT IS!" Leni put her hand to her ear. "You listening to freaking corn now?"

"I hear somethi-" Before Leni could finish, she reeled back and screamed as a figure jumped out of the corn. Darien shone his flashlight at him.

"Adam, you SERIOUSLY brought your Ghillie suit?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"Hopefully you're more effective than the 'chainsaw guy.'"

"Wait, 'chainsaw guy?'" Leni said shivering.

"Yeah, dude basically runs around with a chainsaw and tries to scare everyone." Leni gasped.

"Does he chop them up?!"

"No, mate, they take the chain off. Can't cut an ear of corn. But it CAN scare the crap out of some people."

"Oh, so he's like Luan or Lucy?"

"Who the crap are Luan and Lucy?"

"Luan and Lucy! My sisters!"

"I take it one of THEM'S the responsible one?"

"No, that's Lori."

"Holy crap, how many sisters do you have?"

"Nine." Darien burst into laughter.

"Yeah, DOUBT IT, mate!" He said. "You sure you didn't miscount or something?"

"No, here's a picture!" Leni pulled up a picture on her phone.

"Holy crap! Do you live in a freaking orphanage or something?!"

"Nope, those are my sisters and brother."

"Frickin' A!"

"What's wrong with A?"

"Nothing, mate!"

"'Ey, I'm gonna try and get some more people. See you later!"

"See ya!"

"Bye bye!" Darien laughed again. "What?"

"'Bye bye?' Seriously? Are you FIVE, mate?"

"No, I already said I was 14."

"One, you said 16. Two, why are you saying 'bye bye?' My 6-year old brother FALCON doesn't even say 'bye bye!' He just says 'bye!'"

"His name is Falcon?"

"Yup. In my family, the kids are, from oldest to youngest, you got me, Darien, then Gavin, Talon, Larkin, Falcon, and Colton. DGTLFC." Darien recited the mnemonic device that wasn't really a mnemonic device.

"Wow, that's 4 quarters as many as I have!"

"So you have 5 siblings?"

"I don't know, how many DO I have?"

"MATE!"

"So wait, how old are they all?"

"I'm 16, Gavin's 14, Talon's 11, Larkin's 8, Falcon's 6, and Colton is 4."

"Whoa! They're all my age!"

"Are you kidding me?"

Darien seemed to be perpetually annoyed by Leni's apparent lack of wit. As the bullhorn sounded for all of the kids to exit the maze, Leni walked through the corn rows, leaving everyone else behind.

"Well, gee, thanks a freaking lot." Along the way out, he was trailed by a small group of people, who had decided they wanted to try an experiment.

"RED ROBIN!" They all sang loudly, hoping that someone would finish the jingle with the classic "Yum."

"Nope." Darien replied. Then he made his own to the same tune. "NO BODY!" He finished his own jingle: "Cares!"before he laughed at his own joke. As he exited the maze and waited in line for hot chocolate, he couldn't see Leni anywhere. _If she got lost walking in a straight line, I don't even care. I'm just going to laugh, period._ After about 10 minutes, she was found and brought out of the maze. Leni was, as before, completely out of it during the car ride back to the church.

"So, each of you tell me, should I drop you off at home or at the church?"

"Doesn't matter." Darien answered. He lived no more than 100 feet from the church, so either way he was fairly close.

"The church, please." Leni weakly answered. "Lori's picking me up there."

"You know, that's actually my mom's name." Darien stated. "Well, Loraann, but everyone just calls her Lori."

"Yup." Alexander said.

"Okay, you all know what's stupid, right?"

"What?" Lincoln asked.

"So, in school, right, they have these sort of chatroom lessons, right, and the people in charge of the school are getting mad at me for not showing up to these specific ones that one, happen at the same time as more important ones, and two, aren't on my IEP. But they're saying 'he needs to go to these, it's part of his IEP' and I'm just like 'No, mate! I was AT the meeting!' And I show my speech pathologist, right, because she's part of my IEP too, right, and she's like 'yeah, that's not part of your IEP.' So my mom complains, right, and she says 'he doesn't need these random filler classes.' So the people in charge say 'Ok, we'll take him out of Speech and Debate and Game Design,' which ARE THE TWO CLASSES I WANT TO BE IN!"

"That's stupid!"

"RIGHT?! Like, holy crap!"

After arriving at the church, Darien saw Leni walking toward a blue and white van. He waved with his thumb, middle, and index finger before walking home.

 _Finally THAT'S over._ He thought. But, of course, he was wrong. SO wrong.

 **Third chapter done! I'm planning on bringing some of the other sisters into the story, so watch for that!**


	4. Babysitting

"Hiii!" Darien's mom smiled as he came in. "How was it?"

"It was pretty good. Met the DUMBEST person ever."

"Besides yourself?"

"Ha! Yeah, but seriously, SO DUMB!"

"Dumb how?"

"'A hymn? Why not a 'her?''"

"Ha!"

"And I had to go through the maze with her. She got lost walking in a straight line!"

"Dang."

"And she's MY AGE!"

"What's her name?"

"Leni whatever-the-crap-her-last-name-is."

"Loud?"

"How the crap would you know?"

"Because they posted a babysitting job this Friday. I signed up you and Gavin."

"How many kids?"

"You two'll be watching ten. They're taking the oldest out with them."

"Okay, so ten kids we have to deal with? One of them being THAT chick? Awesome." Darien ended sarcastically.

"Hey, they're paying $80."

"So we each get $40?"

"Yup."

"Alright, how long?"

"From 6 PM to 9 PM."

"Alright, so, like, 12, 13 dollars per hour?" Darien's mom opened a calculator app on her laptop and did the division.

"Yup, $13.34 per hour for each of you."

"Okay, so significantly more than Jesse."

"I think so, yeah."

"Okay, so Friday Night at what, 5:30, show up?"

"That sounds about right. Oh, and I can't drive you, so you'll have to ride your bikes."

"Ok, got it."

"Alright, thanks for doing that!"

"No problem!"

Well, that wasn't entirely true. There WAS a problem.

 _That freaking idiot Leni's probably gonna be the biggest challenge... Crap._

Thursday was fairly uneventful, and on friday, he rode his bike to a local fast food restaurant for lunch, where he and Gavin talked about the job over their meals.

"Freaking TEN kids though?!"

"Right? And the 16 year old seems more autistic than I am."

"Hey, at least it's gonna pay a lot."

"Yeah, the equivalent of 10 hours of watching Jesse for three hours of watching ten times the number of kids. Seems legit, mate."

"Yeah, but they aren't all three year olds."

"True."

"Besides, we can recruit any of the older ones if we need to."

"Except not Leni."

"Leni?"

"The 16 year old, mate."

"Oh, well, yeah, obviously."

"Yeah, and apparently their last name is 'Loud.'"

"Yeah, let's try to keep them on the quieter end of things."

"Ha! Nice freaking wish, mate! If someone's last name is LITERALLY LOUD, it's gonna be pretty darn hard to shut 'em up!"

"Well, duct tape exists."

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You're going to be a freaking AWESOME dad, mate!"

"Right?"

A few hours later, the two pulled up in front of a white house with a frisbee on the roof.

"This the right place?" Gavin looked up the address on his phone.

"Yep." Darien texted his mom that they'd arrived before leaning his bike against the garage due to its lack of a kickstand. As they walked to the front door, they saw a girl playing some soccer by herself in the front yard.

"Hello." Gavin said to her, bringing her attention away from the ball for a moment.

"Do you have a moment-?" Darien joked. Gavin raised an eyebrow. "We're two mormons walking up to someone's door, mate." Darien whispered, and Gavin laughed, having now gotten the joke.

"Hey! Are you two the babysitters?"

"I think so, yeah."

"You're a bit early. Oh well. Just head on in!" She said before going back to her 'game.'

"Okay, thanks!" Darien said as he and Gavin went inside.

"Lynn? Is that you?" An adult woman's voice said from the kitchen before its owner peered into the living room. "Oh, hello. Are you Darien and Gavin White?"

"Yup."

"Alright. You're about half an hour early, so maybe you should go meet all of the kids before we go. They should all be upstairs except for Lynn."

"She the one out front?"

"Yes, that's her. Keep an eye on her and don't let her play with any balls in the house."

"That seems like a given, but okay. Any other tips?"

"Well, the youngest four have a 7 o'clock bedtime, the next three go to bed at 8, and then the last 4 go to bed at 9."

"Okay, so that's when bedtimes are." Gavin said, typing notes into his phone.

"Make sure Lana doesn't bring in anything feral, and make sure Luna doesn't violate noise laws. Leni should be fine, she couldn't cause much trouble if she wanted to."

"Right, Leni."

"You know her?"

"Met her Wednesday. Not the sharpest tool in the shed."

"Well, she's really sweet, so as long as it isn't too technical, you can ask for her help on just about anything. Who else... right, make sure Lisa contains her 'activities' to her room."

"Is she grounded?"

"No, but her 'activities' are better described as 'experiments.'"

"Ah, got it."

"Yes, the only one grounded is Lola. She's one of the twins, the pretty one."

"Did the other get the short straw there, or..."

"No, she just doesn't care. But make sure Lola doesn't get into my makeup or play with her friends if they stop by."

"Okay, is that it?"

"I think so. Lucy shouldn't give you much trouble."

"That would be correct." Darien jumped as the unexpected voice came from behind him.

"Aside from heart attacks, maybe. Let me see... Luan's a prankster, so you may want to steer clear of her."

"And keep them all inside or out back?"

"Out back with one of your supervising, yes."

"Alright, that it?"

"I think so. The others should be fine."

"Alright, shouldn't be too bad."

"Thanks, you two. Me, my husband, and Lori should be leaving soon, so you two can go and start hanging out with the kids."

"Alright, see you in a few hours!" As he and Gavin walked upstairs, Darien whispered into his ear.

"Well, this might just be easier than I thought."


	5. Meet the Kids

**Hey, everyone! This is the 2nd chapter of the 'Babysitting Arc,' so I hope you enjoy! This chapter will cover the events between 5:45 and 6:00.**

"Hello?" Darien said as he reached the top of the stairs. Almost immediately, nine heads poked out of the assorted doors in the hallway. "Okay, bit of a twilight zone moment there."

"Are you the babysitters?" Lola asked.

"Yep, who are you?"

"I'm Lola, the pretty one."

"And the grounded one."

"Hey!" Lola shouted in retaliation.

"Okay, so I take it you're the youngest four?" Darien asked, pointing to the twins, Lisa, and Lily.

"You would be correct in that assumption, yes." Lisa responded.

"And you're the oldest three here?" Gavin asked, pointing to Leni, Luna, and Luan.

"Yup! We're the oldest four!"

"There's three of us, dude."

"And the middle children?"

"Lynn's out in the yard, so it's just me and Lucy up here." Lincoln said, pointing to the goth.

"Okay. Wait, what's your name?"

"Oh, I'm Lincoln."

"Okay, great. Your mom didn't mention you, so I had no idea."

"She didn't? Huh."

"I thought it'd be me." Lucy said with a sigh.

"So what, are you gonna make us stay in our rooms all night?" Lola accused.

"If you want to. Lola, no makeup or friends. Well, probably no friends over for any of you, so Lola, just no makeup. Outside of that, anything within reason."

"Wait, really?" Lana asked excitedly.

"Yup. But if you go out back, you need one of us out there with you."

"So we can play video games?!"

"And play in the mud?!"

"And play our music?!"

"Yes, yes, and yes, but not TOO loud."

"Rockin'!"

"Alright, y'all understand the rules? Do I have to repeat them or anything?"

"I believe we all understand the guidelines rather well, monitorial units."

"Okay, good. I think we have some time before your parents leave, so if y'all wanna just hang out for now, that's fine."

"Yay!" Leni shouted as each of the siblings returned to their activities. As Gavin memorized the rooms, Darien went around to meet the kids.

"What's up?" Darien asked as he entered the twins' room.

"Just a tea party." Lola replied.

"And a pet derby!" Lana exclaimed as she set up a starting line and a finish line.

"So you have a lot of pets?"

"Yup!"

"Yeah, and they stink!" Lola said, plugging her nose.

"Says you!" Lana retorted. "I don't smell anything."

"Because you don't have any class. If you were a perfect girl like myself, you wouldn't be nose blind to all of them!"

"Yeah, I don't smell anything either." Darien said.

"Do YOU have any pets?" Lana asked him.

"Yeah, I got two dogs."

"TWO dogs?"

"Yup. Rottweiler mix and cheagle puppy."

"Awww!" Lana said, imagining the latter. A chihuahua, PLUS a beagle, AND it was a puppy?! "You have to let me see them sometime!"

"I think I have a picture of the cheagle on my phone..." Darien said, pulling his phone out of his hoodie pocket. "Yup, here you go." He said, facing the screen towards Lana.

"Awww, it's so cute!" Lola exclaimed. Lana looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "What? It's cute, and it won't get slobber all over me because it's in the picture." As Darien put his phone back, Lana tugged on his jeans to get his attention.

"Yup?"

"What's your name?"

"Oh, did we forget to introduce ourselves?"

"Yup." Lola answered.

"Oh. Well, I'm Darien, and the other guy's Gavin."

"Darien and Gavin. I can remember that." Lana said.

"You should probably tell everyone else." Lola suggested.

"Good idea." As Darien was about to leave the room, Lana asked him another question.

"Darien?"

"Yep?"

"After you do that, can you take me out back so I can play in the mud?"

"I thought you had your pet, race, thing."

"I should be done with that in a minute or two."

"Okay, sure."

"Yes!" Lana cheered as she ran to her 'babies.'

"Hey, all of you!" Darien shouted as he entered the hall. "Just realized we forgot to introduce ourselves!"

"Wait, really?" Gavin asked. "How did we forget that?"

"No idea! Anyway, I'm Darien."

"I'm Gavin."

"Alright, that'll make things a lot easier." Lincoln said.

"Most likely, yeah."

"Alright, dudes, thanks for the info!" Luna said as she and the others went back to their activities. Lana came out of her room.

"Who won?"

"Charles, barely."

"Alright, you wanna go out back?"

"Yup!" Lana said, racing down the stairs.

"Okay! Hey everyone, I'm gonna be out back, so feel free to head out there!" Darien yelled behind him as he followed Lana. As he arrived, he saw Lana slide into the mud.

"Come on in, the mud's fine!" She shouted.

"No thanks, not much of a 'play in the mud' kind of guy."

"What about the sprinklers?"

"No thanks, I hate it when my clothes get wet."

"So you're just gonna stand there?"

"No, I'll probably just be walking around."

"Hey!" Lynn shouted as she moved from the front to the back yard. "Is it cool to be out here?"

"With me or Gavin out here, yeah."

"Alright! Wanna play some football?"

"Probably not, considering I have no idea how to play and I only weigh 116."

"Man, you need to get some muscles."

"Well, I'm not really into any sports, but Gavin plays a little bit of basketball."

"Alright, I'll ask him then!"

"Well, with me out here, he needs to be in there on the other kids. Plus, the hoop's out front."

"Darn it."

"Hey, you were playing some soccer by yourself before."

"Yeah, but you can't really do that with any other sport."

"Hm. Do you have, like, a small trampoline or anything?"

"In the garage, yeah. Why?"

"Just grab it and bring it here, 'k?"

"Ok..." Lynn ran and came back with a small trampoline. "What now?"

"Now lean it against this wall." Darien said, standing against the back of the garage. Lynn set it up at a fairly vertical, yet still diagonal angle against the wall. "See the circle design on it?"

"Yeah?"

"Grab a baseball and throw it at the edge of that, and when it bounces back, try to catch it."

"So I can practice pitching AND catching!"

"Yup."

"Thanks, man!" Lynn yelled as she ran to get her ball and glove.

"You're welcome!" Darien looked back at Lana, who was building a fairly weak-looking structure out of mud. _I wonder how Gavin's doing._ He heard squealing and shouting from inside almost immediately after asking himself that. _Aaaand he's gonna want to swap._ Mrs. Loud opened the back door and saw Darien, Lana, and Lynn.

"Alright, you're on them. We're leaving now, so from here until 9, you're responsible for them."

"Yup."

"Alright. Thanks again!" As Vanzilla pulled away, Darien could see Gavin in the window, putting on a fake expression of betrayal. The night, of course, was just beginning.

 **Alright! This is probably going to be a 4 or 5 chapter arc, so I'm at worst 40% done and at best 50%. But we'll cross those bridges when we come to them! Thanks for reading, and please leave a review!**


	6. Something to Work On

**Hello again! This is the 3rd chapter of the Babysitting Arc, which is looking more like 5 chapters now. Then I've got to write more...**

"What are you dudes doing out here?" A female British accent sounded as the back door of the house opened.

"Not much. Lana's playing in the mud, Lynn's playing catch with herself, and I'm on them."

"Cool. Who's idea was the trampoline?"

"Mine."

"Huh, nice."

"So, what are you doing out here?"

"Well, me and my mates are planning on playing some music outdoors next week, so I'm trying to see how I sound without the echo you get inside, you know?"

"Yeah, I can understand that."

"You in a band, love?" Luna asked as she set up her guitar with an extension cord.

"No, but I like music and I'm not dumb, so."

"Really? What kind of songs?"

"Well, I generally like slower ones better, you know, like 'Good Riddance.'"

"Yeah, I know that one. Tad too slow for my tastes, though, but to each their own." Luna finished setting up her guitar when she had a realization. "Ah, I forgot my bloody guitar pick!" She walked to the back door and tried to open it, only to realize it was locked. "What the-? LUAN!"

"Are you freaking kidding me, mate?" Darien asked irritatedly. "Frickin' A. HEY!" He shouted up to Leni, whose window was open. "'Ey, Leni!"

"Yes?" Leni asked, looking out at the sound of her name.

"Can y'unlock the back door, please?"

"Okay!" Leni ran away from the window. She poked her head out of another exit. "Is it this one?"

"Considering that's a second story side window, I don't think so, mate."

"Are you sure?"

"FAIRLY CERTAIN, yeah."

"Try again, dude!"

"Okay!" Leni tried again.

"That's a second story BACK window."

"Least she's getting closer, dude."

"Okay, mate, open a back window on the first floor."

"I don't think that'll work, mate."

"Okay!" Leni ran downstairs and opened the back door.

"Cheers, Leni!" Luna said as she walked inside. She came out with her guitar pick in hand. "How'd you know she'd open the back door, dude?"

"I didn't. I thought she'd open a window so I could jump in and unlock it from inside."

"Ha! Well, Leni surprises all of us sometimes."

"Yeah. Not the sharpest tool in the shed, though."

"Yeah, but she tries her best, dude."

"Maybe she should try to improve her 'best.'"

"We all have something we can work on. Hey, that's gives me a bloody AMAZING idea, mate!"

"For what?"

"Lyrics! A whole song! Cheers for putting that idea in my head, love!"

"You're welcome, mate."

"Hold on, are you British?"

"No, but I lived in Ireland for three months, and my family hosts British soccer coaches every summer."

"That would explain your using 'mate' without an accent."

"Well, I kind of have a South Jersey accent, which is weird because literally no one I'm remotely related to's ever been there."

"Huh. Well, I'm gonna get on writing that song of mine."

"You gonna do that out here?"

"Yeah. A bit less noise."

"A little bit, yeah." While the number of siblings inside was 3 times as many as outside, the three outside were fairly loud on their own, making the noise almost equal.

"Hey, Darien?"

"Yes, Lana?"

"Can I go inside? I'm hungry."

"Yeah, hold on." Darien went to the back door and opened it. "Hey, can somebody get me a towel?"

"What for?" Lincoln asked.

"Lana's a tad muddy, so I need a towel for her to walk on to get somewhere she can change and wash up."

"Walking on a towel?"

"Yeah, you just slide your feet. Cleans the floor while you're at it."

"Alright, let me see if I can find one."

"Thanks, mate." Lincoln returned with a towel. "Okay, Lana, step on the towel and drag your feet so it stays under you."

"Okay. What about the stairs?"

"Grab the edges and pick it up for the stairs, but still try and keep it under you."

"Okay." Lana walked to the bathroom to wash and change. Darien went back outside to be on Lynn and Luna. Lynn was starting to get bored playing catch by herself.

"Hey, you got any other bright ideas? I'm getting bored here."

"How about you take the trampoline..."

"Okay..."

"And bounce on it like you're supposed to."

"...why didn't I think of that?"

"Hey, dude, wanna see what I got for the lyrics?"

"Sure, why not?" Darien read the lyrics with a raised eyebrow. "Huh. Got an instrumental yet? That's my favorite part of most songs. The lyrics don't look half bad, but I can't judge a song without the music."

"Workin' on that now." Luna said, taking back her lyric sheet.

"It appears I'm not the only sibling who sought refuge from the noise inside."

"What's Gavin doing?"

"Trying to take care of 7 children. Now it's 6."

"Okay, well, Lana's hungry, so can you go tell Gavin to make something for dinner?" Lisa sighed.

"Very well. It'd be untruthful of me to say that I'm not beginning to feel the effects of leptin myself."

"Layman's terms please?"

"I'm hungry."

"Okay, yeah, so go tell Gavin." Lisa went back inside, and after a minute, Gavin opened a back window.

"Okay, I'm making dinner for everyone."

"Actually, are the olders capable of a YOYO night?"

"What's a bloody 'YOYO Night?'"

"YOYO. You're on your own. Make your own dinner. So, Gavin, just make it for the youngest four. The rest can make their own, and if they need help, just help 'em, 'kay?"

"Yup." Gavin said, closing the window.

"So wait, me, Lynn, Luan, Leni, Lucy, and Lincoln are all gonna make our own dinner?"

"That's kinda how YOYO night works, yeah."

"Awesome!" Lynn shouted. _Best babysitter EVER!_ She thought as she ran inside to make a meter-long sandwich.

"Alright, I think you should actually be able to be out here by yourself, so I'm gonna help out Gavin inside, okay?"

"Cheers, mate." Darien opened the back door and went to check on all of the siblings. The night had just begun...


	7. Kids Food Now

"KIDS FOOD NOW!" Darien shouted as Gavin pulled the last of the corn dogs from the microwave. In the white house, 'kids food now' meant 'it's dinner time,' so he had said it out of reflex. Of course, once he noticed everyone's puzzled looks, he quickly corrected himself. "Dinnertime!"

"Hey, there's only enough for four of us!" Luan pointed out.

"Because it's for the youngest four. The rest of you can make your own dinner. Just ask me or Darien if you need help."

"Wait, really?"

"Yup." Darien answered before Gavin could start. "But nothing dessert-ish."

"Awesome!" Luan and Leni got to work making scrambled eggs, because that was about the extent of what they knew how to cook, and even for Leni it was a stretch. Lynn finished a sandwich and carried it to the table with a little help from Lincoln, and Luna came in for a quick bite. Lucy made a simple meal, a ham and cheese sandwich with black food coloring. Lincoln couldn't make up his mind on what to have, but he noticed Gavin making pancakes on the gridle.

"I thought it was dinnertime, not breakfast."

"Pancakes are a dinner food, mate." Darien said as he grabbed a plate.

"Last I checked, most people had them for breakfast."

"Last time I checked, we're not most people."

"Really, who is?" Gavin asked.

"Yup."

"Alright, well, could I see the gridle after you?"

"Sure." After Gavin finished his and Darien's pancakes, the two sat at the table with the rest of the siblings. Lynn was about half-done with her sandwich, and Lana had finished her corn dogs, but aside from that, most siblings had taken their time.

"So, monitorial units." Lisa started. "Tell us more about yourselves." Darien held up his index finger, indicating he was still chewing a bite, before swallowing and responding.

"What do you want to know?"

"Whatever you want us to." Lola answered. _Or what you don't want us to if I have anything to do with it._

"What school do you guys go to?"

"Michigan Connections Academy."

"Where's that?"

"Online."

"Wait, you mean you can do schoolwork from home?"

"Anywhere with a computer and wifi."

"Cool!"

"Must get lonely, though. I mean, you don't get to see your friends doing that!"

"Yeah, but I've got friends through church and seminary, so."

"What about a GIRLfriend?" Lola asked.

"Nope." Darien said with a chuckle. "I mean, look at me, do you honestly think I have a girlfriend?"

"Wait, are you gay?"

"No, I'm just ugly." Darien joked at his own expense.

"Maybe if you tried."

"And went to a public school."

"Yeah, I haven't been to a brick-and-mortar since fourth grade. It'd be pretty hard to adjust to that even if I wanted to." Darien drank some water before continuing. "Besides, the whole girlfriend thing at this age brings nothing but trouble. Heck, I can mathematically prove it."

"Interesting. Please demonstrate your calculations." Lisa said dragging a chalkboard to Darien's location.

"Okay. Well, to get a girlfriend at my age, you need time and money." Darien wrote 'girlfriend=time*money' on the chalkboard. "Got it?"

"Yup." was the collective response.

"Okay, and 'time is money,' so..." Darien erased the 'time' and replaced it with 'money,' erasing the '*money' and replacing it with '^2.' "Still with me?"

"Yup."

"Okay, and now, 'money is the root of all problems,' so money squared must equal 'problems.' So the final equation is, 'girlfriend=problems.'" Darien wrote as he explained it. Luan burst out laughing, and Lisa checked his work.

"Hey, you're funny!" Luan said as soon as she could stop laughing for long enough to.

"But not as funny as you are!" Lincoln said.

"Aw, thanks Lincoln!"

"Actually, I might be funnier."

"Is that a challenge?"

"I think so, yeah." Darien answered. "One joke each, no knock-knocks. Ladies first."

"So you both go first?" Gavin joked, resulting in laughter, giggles, or continued silence depending on the sibling.

"Thanks, mate." Darien said, rolling his eyes and smiling.

"You're welcome."

"Alright, Luan, tell your funniest joke."

"Alright, here goes. A talking sheep dog gets all the sheep in the pen, and goes to the farmer. 'All 40 sheep accounted for!' he says. The farmer replies, 'but I only have 36!' 'I know,' said the sheep dog, 'I rounded them up!'" Luan and Leni burst out laughing. "Get it?"

"Yeah, we get it." Gavin said. "Darien, please don't go too far."

"Don't worry mate, I've got this." Darien reassured him. "What do you call a vehicle that goes underwater?"

"What?" Luan asked, expecting somthing along the lines of a submarine.

"The Titanic." Darien said before taking a drink and letting it sink in, pun intended. As soon as Luan got it, she covered her mouth with her hands and tried to stop herself from laughing. Apparently, she wasn't the only one who got it, as Luna, Lincoln, and Lisa had done the same, with Leni laughing without fully understanding the joke.

"I like Darien's better." Lucy said monotonously.

"I can't decide!" Leni said.

"Whoa, that's dark!" Luan said. "You're lucky I like dark humor!" Darien raised his eyebrows for a split second as he finished his drink.

"So, who won?"

"Raise your hand for Darien." Gavin said, raising his hand along with Lisa, Lana, Darien, Lucy, and Lynn. "Raise it for Luan." Lily, Luan, Luna, Leni, Lily, and Lola raised their hands. "Tied, none of you are funnier."

"That's bullcrap." Darien said as he cleared his plate.

"Can't argue with democracy."

"Well, actually, you can if you have an improvement. Alright, everybody raise your hands if you liked my joke. Not prefer it over Luan's, just like it." The same people raised their hands, except Leni and Luan now raised their hand along with them. "Alright, now raise your hand or keep it raised if you liked Luan's." The same people as before raised their hands for Luan's joke, with Lisa joining them as well. "Alright, 8 people liked mine and 7 people liked Luan's, I win."

"CGP grey?" Gavin asked.

"CGP grey."

"Well, darn." Luan said. "Well, your joke was pretty good. So you win, for now." Luan said with an evil look coming on.

"Not sure I trust that look."

"You shouldn't." Luna warned.


	8. Bedtime

**Okay, so this arc keeps getting longer. Originally, it was gonna be 4 chapters; a first one and then one per hour. However, this is the third chapter of THE FIRST HOUR, so that's completely out the window. Also, if any of you want to PM me about an OC for my thoughts or anything, go right on ahead! But let's get into the chapter!**

"So HOW, exactly, does this game work?" Lola asked.

"Well, I'm 'it,' right, so I can only walk for either the first two minutes or until I tag someone. Once either happens, I can run. Basically, don't get caught or you're out. And no, like, locking doors or anything, okay?"

"I understand the rules, but this game isn't for children such as myself, so I shall see myself to my room to perform experiments until it is time to sleep."

"Alright, Lana, Lola, you playing?"

"Sure!" said Lana.

"Oh, I would, but I have to get my hair curlers in before bed."

"How long does that take?"

"15 minutes, at least. But, I CAN play a round if you let me have a later bedtime?"

"Nice try, mate." Lola walked away with a grunt. "Alright, we got Lana, who else?"

"Eh, I'll play." Lincoln said, putting his comic down and getting up off the couch. "I've got a good hour to burn."

"Count me in!" shouted Lynn as she finished her sandwich.

"Me too!" said Leni, unaware as to what she was 'in.'

"Alright, I'm 'it,' so you four get a 5-second headstart, starting... now." Darien counted to five in his head, and while his seconds may have been a bit slow due to his terrible chronoception, but at least they weren't too fast. Darien pulled his phone out of his pocket and turned on some spooky ambient music, and began walking at a slightly slower pace than normal. Lana peeked around the corner and saw Darien coming, and ran away screaming in a mixture of shock and glee. Lynn got on one side of the couch, planning on just staying opposite to him. Darien ignored her and instead went after the other three, made significantly easier by Leni's cornering herself in a doorway. "Got Leni!" Darien shouted as he broke into a sprint down the stairs. He wished his house had a set, and the house he'd lived in while he was in Ireland had two, which he had enjoyed. Lynn got to the other side of the couch and tried to control Darien's movement by repetitively doubling back, but Darien's longer strides eventually let him catch up. He saw Lana out of the corner of his eye and ran towards her, but crashed into a wooden wall she had erected just around the corner. "Sonofvub..." He said before getting up and climbing over. _I know who we should hire down south..._ Darien joked to himself as he tried to find Lana again. However, he bumped into Lincoln instead. "Tag, mate."

"Aw, dangit."

"What time is it?"

"6:50." Lincoln said, looking at the clock.

"Alright, Lana wins by time whatevers."

"Restraints?"

"Yup."

"Yes!" Lana cheered.

"Alright, you little Gorbachev, tear down the wall and go get ready for bed, 'kay?"

"Okay." Lana said, grabbing her toolbox and heading towards the wall.

"Lisa! Lola!"

"You called?" Lola asked.

"It's time for y'all to go to bed."

"Alright, I was already getting ready." Lola talked back. Darien walked up to Lisa's room, only to see Gavin had beat him to it, with Lily in his arms. He went back downstairs to make sure the wall had been dealt with. Thankfully, it had. As Lisa walked to the bathroom to get ready, she handed Darien her card. It was barely coherent or even legible, but Darien could _just_ make out the gist of what it said. He put it into his hoodie pocket and turned off the ambient music on his phone before checking on the youngest four, the oldest three of whom were brushing their teeth or dentures. After they were done and in pajamas, Gavin put Lily in the crib as Lisa got into her bed and took some sleeping pills. Due to her nature of always questioning the world, it was difficult for her to clear her mind enough to fall asleep most nights, so she'd developed sleeping pills specifically for her metabolism to allow her to get a near-perfect sleep.

As Darien checked on Lola and Lana's room, he could see Lola fixing up her makeup kit for the next morning. Near the window, he saw Lana praying.

"You two just about ready?"

"Sh, Lana's talking to her imaginary friend."

"You mean praying?"

"Same difference."

"Yeah, because one's real." Darien was a mormon, yes, but he didn't generally share that information like an ad campaign or anything. If people asked, he told them, and he would stand up for his faith, but most of the time he just kept his trap shut on the matter.

"Oh, so YOU think the big guy's real, too?"

"Yup, now be quiet, Lana's try'na pray."

"Of course you prefer her over me."

"What do you mean?"

"You're sacrificing the simplicity of rearranging my makeup for Lana's talking to air. You've been playing with her all night, not me."

"One, she went outside and I went outside to be on her. Two, you said you needed to do your hair crap. Three, you haven't been the nicest girl in the world, considering you talking back and trying to make me let you go to bed later."

"I'm going to spill water on your clothes." Lola threatened.

"Did Gavin tell you I hated that? Also, real mature of you, mate. Once you finish this, go to bed. G'night." Darien finished sarcastically. Lana finished her prayer and got in bed at the same time as Lola, and Darien hit the light as he left the room. _Frickin' kid._

"Are the twins asleep?" Gavin asked.

"Just went to bed, so probably not, no."

"Ok, I'm gonna stay with the baby until she's asleep."

"Got it, I'll be on the rest." _And then there were 7..._


	9. Music, Fashion, Comedy, Politics

**Alright, so this arc's gone a bit longer than I thought. I mean, even assuming I only write 1 chapter for each hour, that's still 6 chapters covering 3.5 hours. That's bolshevik. So this arc might end next chapter, but you never know, I could pull a 6:00-7:00 and write a few chapters each. Which would suck.**

 **EDIT: I was reading over chapter 7 in the preview section and realized Darien had already told everyone where he went to school, so I made Luna say "Oh, right!" instead of "Oh, nice!"**

"Alright everybody," Darien addressed the remaining children. "The youngest four are going to bed, so y'all need to quiet down."

"Can I go out back?" Lynn asked.

"Sure, if one of us goes out with you and you aren't too loud."

"Okay! Hey Gavin, will you go out with m-" Lynn thought about how that sounded. "That came out wrong." All of the kids except Lucy stifled their laughter before he responded.

"Yeah, I'll take you outside."

"Awesome!" Lynn said as she ran to the back door. Gavin followed her, leaving the others under Darien's watch.

"Well, crap." He whispered to himself. "So, y'all just watching TV?" He said as Lincoln passed him to go to his room.

"Are you from Texas?" Leni asked.

"What?"

"You said 'y'all.'"

"Yeah? So?"

"So you're from Texas?"

"No, mate, I've never been there. 'Y'all' is a conjunction for 'you all,' and it's like, the only word that works for addressing groups."

"Yeah, Leni, do you hear how he says 'mate?' That means he's probably from England or Australia or something."

"Nope."

"'No?'"

"I have Scottish and Irish ancestry, right, and I lived in Ireland for a few months, but I'm not from there. I was born in Arizona and lived in Oregon for a while before I came here."

"Huh." Luan responded, trying in her head to come up with a good pun or joke.

"So wait, where's Oregon?"

"It's north of California."

"Oh. Yeah, I didn't know that."

"Yeah, no one does. I went to a TGI Friday's in Ireland that had a map of the continental united states, right, and they got the shape of Oregon wrong. Nobody knows about it except for Oregonians and whatever the crap you call people who live in Washington."

"Huh, cool."

"So, what do y'all usually do about now?"

"I usually make my outfit for tomorrow!"

"Why don't you just wear the same outfit for multiple days at a time and then switch to a different one when you need to wash it?" Darien asked. "That's what I do." Luan leaned over and sniffed his hoodie before leaning back.

"That hasn't been washed in a couple of days. And you don't have deodorant."

"Ew, gross, dude!"

"What? That crap smells AWFUL!"

"Maybe to you!"

"How could anyone stand that smell?"

"A lot of us do!"

"Yeah, well, I'm not a lot of people!"

"You should still wear it."

"Are you?"

"YES! Everyone older than 12 should be!"

"Yeah, it's like common sense. The people who need it never use it!" Luan joked.

"Ha! But seriously, a new outfit every day?"

"Of course! Fashion is, like, the most important thing ever!"

"No, it's, like, really not!"

"Oh yeah? What do YOU like then?"

"Yeah, I have music, Luan has comedy, Leni has fashion-"

"I have poetry." Lucy said, scaring everybody.

"Geez, kid!"

"But I know you like SOMETHING, dude."

"Yeah!"

"I was about to answer before SHE got here."

"Of course he doesn't want me to be around." Lucy said monotonously.

"Not what I said, mate. Anyway-"

"So what is i-" Luan stopped when Darien raised his hands aggravatedly. "Sorry."

"Politics."

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah."

"Are you in a debate club?"

"No, I do online school."

"Oh, right!"

"'Politics?' What are those?"

"And this is why I haven't talked to you much all night."

"Hey, that's rude."

"Yeah, dude."

"'Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words can never hurt you.'" Darien quoted.

"That's not how that quote goes."

"Yeah it is."

"Whatever. So, politics, huh? Trump or Hillary?"

"The election's already happened."

"You go back in time to when it hasn't and your vote will decide it. You have to pick one."

"Don't really like either, but if I had to choose, Trump."

"What?!" Luan shouted quietly.

"I'm not picking Hillary, mate. She wants to go to war with Russia and possibly China, she lies A LOT, she's basically the worst."

"But Trump is a nazi!"

"False, Nazis were socialists. National SOCIALIST German Worker's Party."

"Okay, but he's still racist!"

"Tell me one racist thing he's said."

"He wants to keep Muslims out of the country!"

"'Muslim' isn't a race, mate."

"Hey, you two, stop arguing." Leni said, stepping in. "I don't know what you're talking about, but I think it's going too far."

"No way, it's just getting good."

"Whatever, I'm going to go make tomorrow's outfit." Leni said, walking up the stairs as Lincoln came down.

"Hey, what are you all talking about."

"Apparently, our babysitter's a Trump supporter."

"I never said that, I said I'd prefer him over Hillary. There's a frickin' difference, mate." Luan rolled her eyes.

"I take it you're also not a feminist?"

"No, I'm an egalitarian."

"What is that?"

"I believe men and women are equal."

"So you're a feminist?"

"No, I'm an egalitarian."

"Feminism is about equality!"

"No, it's not. The ideology hates men, that's what it's become."

"No, it doesn't!"

"Then why isn't it doing anything about the privileges women have in society?"

"What privileges?!"

"Wait, FEMALE privilege?" Lincoln asked as Luna perked up from her songwriting.

"Yes, mate!"

"Oh? I dare you to name one!"

"Okay. Women can vote without having to enlist for the draft, women are a third as likely to be homeless and a quarter as likely to commit suicide, men make up 93% of workplace deaths, men are the more common victim of almost every kind of violent crime, women in the 25 biggest cities with no kids fresh out of college make 8% more than their male counterparts, do I need to continue?"

"Yeah, well, males are privileged, too!"

"Name one legal privilege I have over you."

"Men make more for the same job!"

"You mean the gender wage gap that's been proven false a million times and has no common sense backing it up?"

"Luan, just stick with comedy, dude." Luan walked upstairs with her hands formed into fists. She needed to calm down.

"Alright, so what time is it..." Darien looked at a clock. "Seven twenty something-below-five, I think that's 7:23." _Half an hour 'till bedtime number two._

 **Alright, so I wanted to use this chapter to kinda set up Darien not liking Leni or Luan very much. Don't worry, there's still half an hour 'till middle bedtime, so we'll see the middle ones a bit more next chapter, which now isn't going to be the end of the arc. Frick. Anyway, hope you enjoyed, and please leave a review!**


	10. Autist of The Deal

**Sorry it's been a while! I've been busy lately and haven't had much time for writing! I reread the story up to this point and I feel the need to explain some of my story choices, specifically the relationship between Darien and certain Loud siblings.**

 **First of all, Darien and Luan. I decided to make Luan a liberal because most comedians and late-night show hosts are nowadays, and she most likely learned from them. However, she isn't as good in a debate as Darien is because Darien has had more practice. The debate scene was mainly written to get across that Luan and Darien get on each other's nerves while also referencing Darien's personality (having experience in debates and enjoying them) and beliefs.**

 **Secondly, Darien and Lola. I have a sister who's a bit of a mix between Lynn and Lola, sporty but bratty. I do not get along with her IN THE SLIGHTEST. So Darien, having a similar personality to me, has a bone to pick with Lola.**

 **Third, Darien and Leni. Darien, as we may all be aware, has very little patience with other people, so Leni's stupidity really doesn't help any sort of relationship between them.**

 **Hopefully, this clears things up for those of you wondering why I spent a lot of a chapter seemingly pushing a conservative agenda.**

 **Now, without further adu, the 7th chapter of the babysitting arc!**

* * *

Gavin looked into the house to make sure Darien hadn't burned it down, while keeping Lynn in his peripheral vision just in case. Darien, while good in his role as the oldest sibling, wasn't always the most responsible one, which was one of the main reasons Gavin had come along.

"Which one're you looking at?" Lynn asked interrogatively.

"What?"

"Come on, I won't tell!" _Yes I will._

"What do you mean?"

"You like one of them, don't you?"

"Nope."

"Are you sure?"

"Yup."

"Well, I'm not one of them."

"No you aren't, miss buck-thrity-three-an-hour."

"What?"

"That's how much I get for each of you per hour."

"Oh, so you're just doing it for the money, huh?"

"Yep."

"What do you need money for?"

"Repaying loans from my mom, buying stuff, you know, the usual."

"Good luck with that."

"Thanks."

"How old are you again?"

"14."

"Oh, so are you in 8th grade or your freshman year?"

"Freshman, but I'm three grades ahead in math, and one grade ahead in English."

"Whoa..."

"Yeah, set to graduate in 3 years instead of 4, so I graduate the year after Darien."

"Well, do you have a Nobel prize?"

"Yes." Gavin responded sarcastically.

"Wait, really?"

"No."

"So are you just a savant?"

"I wish. I'm autistic, but I'm not a savant."

"You're autistic?"

"Yup."

"I have an autistic friend, and you don't seem anything like him."

"Yeah, well, I'm not your autistic friend."

"So are you the only one you know?"

"The only autistic kid?"

"Yeah."

"Nope. There's this other kid in my ward, his name's David. Then there's also Darien."

"You're BOTH autistic?"

"Yup."

"But you're so different!"

"Yeah, we're on opposite ends of the spectrum. He's more on the asperger's side."

"Did you just say 'butt burgers?'"

"No, a-s-pergers."

"Oh, right. Well, you both seem okay."

"Because we're high-functioning. We seem normal to most people, but if you look closely, we're definitely autistic. I mean, we once liked Five Nights at Freddy's!" Gavin joked.

"How else?" Lynn asked as she and Gavin passed the soccer ball to each other. Gavin didn't play in any sort of league, but he occasionally played in the yard, and hosting some British soccer coaches had taught him a few things.

"Well, look at Darien. Did you notice him snapping after he put the twins to bed?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, that's a stim of his. I don't really realize I'm doing mine, and I don't know quite what it is."

"Huh."

* * *

"Do you want to buy St. James Place for $180?"

"Nah, I'll do a 180 and auction." Luna had grabbed Monopoly down from the closet, and was joined by Lincoln, Lucy, Leni, Darien, and Luan.

"Alright, starting bid?"

"$10." Luan said. _Hopefully I can get it for less._

"Alright, Lincoln?" Lincoln was to Luan's left, so he bid next.

"20."

"50." Lucy said, still as monotonously as usual.

"60." Darien followed. He tried not to exceed the previous bid by more than 20 or less than 10, the former his preference and the latter a house rule.

"180." said Leni.

"Augh, really?" Darien groaned.

 _Alright, I'm not gonna get it for less, but maybe I can still get it._ Luan thought. "200."

"I'm out."

"Yet another property gone. Sigh."

"Yeah, no, I'm out."

"500."

"Leni, you're dumb."

"Hey!"

"Out." Luan said. _Now she's $500 down. Then again, she wasn't much of a threat to begin with._

"Yay, I win!" Leni cheered, unaware of how much her 'victory' had crippled her chances.

"Hey, Lincoln, I've got a trade offer." Everyone else went silent. As another house rule, only the two people negotiating the trade could talk until the deal was off altogether or a deal was struck.

"Alright, Darien, let's hear it."

"Well, let's take a look at those two railroads you got there." Darien pointed to Reading and B.O. railroad. "It cost you $400 to get those, right?"

"Right?"

"And rent is $50 with two railroads."

"Correct."

"So you need somebody to land on either one eight times to make your money back, and more to make a profit, right?"

"Right..."

"Well, we'll double the odds of any given roll landing on any given space, because you have two. There are two dice, so maximum roll is 12 and minimum is 2. That means 11 spaces from which you can land on each, or 22 out of the 36 in the game. HOWEVER, you need to roll the right number. There are 36 combinations for the two die, and depending on distance, there are a certain number of combinations to allow you to land on those spaces. I've actually done calculations for this before, and the theoretical probability of landing on either of those railroads is roughly 3% each. So for every 200 dice rolls, you should have about 6 people landing on either, correct?"

"Correct..."

"That's a lot of rolls to have not even gotten your money back yet. So here's my deal: $500 for both railroads. Make your money back plus profit right now instead of having to wait for 267 rolls in order to just get your money back. So, do we have a deal?"

"Deal!" Lincoln shouted, grabbing his railroads and handing them to Darien, who gave him $500 in return. Darien smiled. In the long term, he knew, this would help him a lot more than it would Lincoln. And now that he owned all four, it would only take landing on any of them three times to get his money back, and it would theoretically take 12 rolls to do so, as every space was within twelve of a railroad.

Lincoln had just been fooled.


End file.
